January 31, 2004

Snow Claims Another Victim

What's the least practical object you can think of using to get your car out of a honking pile of snow?

Champagne glass?
Swing set?
The Sunday Times?
An empty can of Coke?
An inflatable doll?
An ironing board?

Well, if you guessed ironing board you would have not been alone.

This morning when I took out the trash, and smoked my first cigarette of the morning outside to keep my house spring time fresh, a man was shoveling his car out from under a huge a pile of snow with an ironing board he found leaning against the tree in front of my building. I watched him as he tirelessly removed about 5% of the snow barricading his car into the drift. I was amused when he got back in the car and tried to get out by shifting ever so slightly back and forth trying to get over the two foot high snowy lump blocking his tire. I was even more amused when he got back out of the car and walked back over to the ironing board and attempted to clear away another 5% of the offending pile.

When I got back in the house I could hear his car revving madly against the forces of nature as he started the cycle of futility all over again.

Honestly, whatever happened to kids shoveling snow for extra money? Oh yes, that's right, they have become the latest target of muggers that find earnest hard working preteens easy victims of their malicious crimes. In the latest story out of Long Island, I heard these monstrous bullies/criminals walked away with a huge booty of $28.00. If only those kids could have been here this morning to help that guy out. But then I wouldn't have had this amusing story.

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