Rules of Attraction
In my continual effort to understand the rules of attraction, I have stumbled across a stumbling block. This where I explain how a woman in her mid-thirties can still fall victim to a common high school affliction - the crush - or not. Sometimes I'm just too tired to try to make sense of it.
I'm so tired of the mixed signals or are they mixed signals? Maybe I'm imagining signals as a result of wishful thinking and having crush like tendencies. Either way, this combination of wishful thinking with having a crush is interfering with my intuition. I just can't trust my judgment anymore. Sometimes I would give anything to be one of those cute, not so bright but bright enough to manipulate men, women for who attracting people is a seemingly effortless effort.
But noooooooooo. I have to be "bright" and "analytical" and deconstruct everything around me until it's lost all enjoyment and meaning. (why can't i just enjoy the moment?)
And I have broken it out down. The problem isn't really that I don't attract people; the problem is that I attract people I don't want to be attracted to me. Like the crazy guy on my block on 7 medications and living with a foster family; that's not to say he's not a nice guy, but one might not want his gene pool to continue. Like the older gentlemen, and I mean older, which always look at me wistfully like they're remembering that one time in the rumble seat when they felt Sally May's ass over her bustle. Just once, once, I would like a clear and open field to play the game with the object of my desire. But I tell you, as cute as I am, as dressed up as I get, as down to earth as I can be, as witty and funny as I am, my game is always, always trumped by a cute girl in a spaghetti strap t-shirt and hip hugger jeans or low-rise as we are calling them now.
What makes the competition all the more fierce is that the women who dress like this are just as bright, if not brighter than me. All this competition makes me feel like I have no game any more.