Hump day. (sniff) Why doesn't anybody like me? I mean, what did I ever do do hurt anybody. I wish I were more like Friday. Everybody likes Friday. He's soooooooo popular. Monday I was eating my breakfast in the days of the week cafeteria and all the other days of the week were sitting with Friday except for Monday because he was hiding somewhere. I tried to squeeze in between Tuesday and Thursday but they wouldn't let me. They just looked down at their trays pretending not to notice me. (sniff)
I don't understand. I'm part of the Day family. Maybe it's because my name is longer than anyone else's. But that doesn't make any sense because Saturday won't pay any attention to me either. As a matter of fact, both Saturday and Sunday eat in a separate cafeteria with waitress service while we lower days of the week have to go up to the buffet and make our own plates (sniff)
It's not fair. I want to be like everyone else and I want everyone else to like me. People don't like to wake up on Wednesday. I hear them groaning on their way to work. They think I'm stupid and boring. There isn't even anything good on TV Wednesday nights, except for Law and Order but nobody wants to stay up that late because Wednesday is SO HARD. It's the MIDDLE OF THE WEEK. They want to get sleep on Wednesday night so they can watch ER on THURSDAY NIGHT. They don't mind staying up late for that.
I hate everyone just as everyone hates me (sniff), but I sure wish someone would buy Wednesday a cup of coffee some time. Just so I don't have to sit here alone and think about how much everyone hates me.
Oh shit. Today is Wednesday. I'm running late. That's why the other days weren't talking to me. Because I'm supposed to be working.