June 29, 2004

Second Day

This is my second day of "choosing not to smoke". To say I'm quitting is way too much pressure. Today, I choose not to smoke. That seems less pressuring, no?

Right now, it's hard not to. Work is a little slow and my system is screaming for one. For me not to smoke, requires me to believe that I am not naturally a smoker and these feelings of physical longing are simply something that will pass if I ignore them.

I feel jittery, like pacing, like eating, like jumping, like talking incessantly. I'm in control though and I am resisting.

Although sometimes it feels like resistance is futile.

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