Ahem.

I received this from one of my co-workers this morning, via email.
What do you think?
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How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives, and Southerners?

Scenario:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a loaded Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Liberal response:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think?

What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What doe s the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to societyand to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative response:
BANG!

Southerner response:
BANG! BANG! BANG! B ANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....Reload...BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.