March 06, 2006

The Oscars - 2006

Last night I attended a wonderful Oscars party at Sarah's house. We watched the Academy Awards on her new HDTV and that was pretty spectacular. The food was great. The view was great. The people were great. Normally, I don't go for other people but I got to see people I haven't seen in a long time. And there were people there I'd never seen before that I also liked.

Now to the Oscars.

Jon Stewart did okay. I like that he just hosted and didn't try to be funny every possible moment. He made jokes where jokes were suitable and that was fine by me. My favorite joke was when he suggested that the audience topples the giant Oscar statue to bring about democracy. Some of his jokes were subtle - barely perceptible. I would love it if he hosted again.

Generally, I found the dresses ATROCIOUS. If you've ever seen the website Go Fug Yourself, you know that they are going to be talking about last night's Academy Awards for weeks to come. I'm sure they'll be giving their own awards in many categories of bad dressing. There were an alarming number of brown, beige, taupe, ivory and flesh colored dresses worn by every caliber of actress. Then there were the stand outs. The ugliest dress was donned by Charlize Theron. The dress was ill-fitting and the bow on her left shoulder overshadowed her very pretty face. She looked like she was being eaten by the dress.

My favorite dresses were worn by the beautiful, but boring Jennifer Lopez, and the equally beautiful, but twice as boring, Selma Hayak. They wore green and blue respectively and both looked fantastic. They were two life rafts of color floating in a see of neutral blahs.

Production numbers and montages
For some reason, an endless number of meaningless montages were shown during the awards ceremony. Although they were themed, I didn't understand what most of them had to do with the movies of 2005 - except for the spoonfed humor of the gay cowboy montage which was clear to everyone.

The production numbers were disturbing. Dolly Parton performed great but looked sickly. She was sooooooo thin - that really scary Karen Carpenter kind of thin. The CRASH production number was patently ridiculous - with all those dancers moving in slow motion in front of a burning car. Eh. And while the rap number was bearable, I was upset that the singers weren't dressed better. They performed for the Academy Awards - the most prestigious awards event in entertainment and they wore t-shirts and baggy jeans. I thought that was a little disrespectful. As to who deserved to win, I really didn't like any of the songs so I don't have an opinion.

The only montage that I liked was the death tribute montage. It was as good as it always is and it made me cry.

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