March 13, 2006

Flavor of Love - Finale

Flavor Flav made his final decision last night (if your computer can do it, you can watch the episode at the V-Spot by clicking on Flav's name up top.) He chose one woman to be his baby and to wear a set of custom-made gold grillz over her beautiful teeth.

He chose Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander.

Before he made his decision he took the two final contestants, New York and Hoopz, to Puerto Vallarta - famous destination of the fictional Love Boat - where the women had to share a room. I'm sure the show could have afforded to put them up in separate rooms but there wouldn't have been the same amount of drama had they done that. These two HATE each other. There is no love lost between them and you could see them seething at each other the whole show.

The first night, Flav planned a romantic dinner for the three of them. While they were waiting for their food, Flav asked them what they thought of each other and a big fight ensued. This upset Flav and he had to leave the table. He just couldn't understand why those two were fighting - as if he wasn't the prize for this bizarre competition. Hoopz called New York a fake and New York, in an effort to appear lady like, kept reminding Flav that she was a lady and wouldn't stoop to Hoopz's level. She never really said anything bad about Hoopz at dinner.

After that Flav had separate dates with each woman.

He took New York to a private beach - very nice. She wore a skimpy but not the skimpiest bikini I've ever seen. They frolicked in the sun and sand. He tried to go canoing with New York, but she's got no athletic ability at all and somehow she kept capsizing the canoe before they could even get out onto the water. The date ended with dinner at a romantic restaurant and dessert back up in Flav's room where she spent the night. While smoking a cigarette at the end of her meal, through a face full of tears she explained to Flav how much she loves him and how much she wants to be with him - AGAIN.

Every moment she had alone with him she was talking about her feelings. And you know, I think he was only thinking of her for sex because he couldn't stop talking about her body. So in the end he got what he wanted from her - sex and she got nothing. That wasn't very fair of him. He should have been nicer and not sleep with her if he thought there wasn't a chance that he would pick her. I mean - she is crazy.

The next day he took Hoopz to a jungle excursion where they rode ziplines through the canopy all day. Hoopz is very athletic and really enjoyed the activity while New York would have been freaking out the whole time. Flav and Hoopz took a romantic walk on the beach near the hotel afterwards. Their romantic dinner also found them back at Flav's room afterwards. At dinner, Hoopz talked about New York and basically asked Flav what we all wanted to know. What does he see in her? Flav saw a good person in her. Maybe there was a good person in there, but you needed X-ray vision to see the good person underneath her layers of bullshit.

Anyway, Flav gave both women a present - a necklace with their nicknames. When New York got hers she said thank you. When Hoopz got hers she said thank you and gave Flav a gift in return. It was an "ASS TRAY" - because he was always looking for an ashtray at his house and because he likes ass. Get it? He loved it. And he loved the personal note she wrote for him.

The trip to Mexico occupied the first hour of the show. The last half hour of the show was dedicated to showing the girls get ready for their dates.

Hoopz went to the salon while New York went to Nicole Miller to get a dress and then the other way around. New York LOVED every dress she saw and ended up picking a pretty, low-cut red number. Hoopz meanwhile was having a bad time at the salon because they screwed up her extensions. By the time she got to Nicole Miller she was tired, annoyed and downhearted. A different sales person helped her as she tried one dress after another and didn't like any of them. She chose the dress that she thought looked the best but still didn't like it. Wouldn't you know it was the same exact dress as New York?

Thanks to Confessions of a Shoe Whore for the photo.

They walked into the elimination ceremony in the same dress - which looked better on Hoopz. New York started talking trash to Hoopz in the classy way that she does at every elimation ceremony and got in Hoopz's face. She bragged about her alone time with Flav - about how they "made sweet music" together to which Hoopz replied, "someone get me a bucket." Hoopz never really bragged about her own date with Flav - she just kept reinforcing her belief that New York was a fake and a slut in the down to earth way she keeps things real (whatever that means).

Flav dragged out the finale a little longer by asking the girls if they would still love him, even if he chose the other one. Then he repeated their names over and over again until he finally chose Hoopz.

In her final interview, Hoopz said New York was probably in the limo crying her eyes out (cut to limo and NY crying her eyes out). She also said the New York was probably going to get drunk all night (cut to NY saying she's going to drink that whole bottle of whatever she was pointing too).

In the end Flav gave Hoopz this ridiculous set of gold teeth to wear over her own teeth. They made her look pretty stupid.

Flav felt a fire burnign inside of him everytime he looked at or spoke to Hoopz which is why she won in the end.

No comments: