December 07, 2005

America's Next Top Modeling Apprentice

Instead of going out with most of my friends to see another friend debate who between men and women have a harder time dating (DEBATE: "Is Dating Tougher for Men or Women?" The Anonymous Blogger vs. Hillery Borton (Moderator: Evanchik; Host: Seavey), I stayed home and watched the finale of American's Next Top Model. I also watched Martha Stewart's The Apprentice.

If I were feeling better I probably would have gone. But I've got this ill feeling that isn't quite like being sick. My stomach is cramping but nothing is happening. My eyes are burning but my nose isn't running. I'm on the edge of some kind of flu or virus - just enough to make me
uncomfortable but not enough to make me sick. But you don't want to hear about that.

This is the pretty girl that won America's Next Top Model. Her name is Nicole and she's a 19-year old student from Grand Forks, North Dakota. The only difference between her and the other pretty girls on the show was that she was the prettiest and most photogenic. She wasn't any more or less talented. She just took the best pictures. So all those stupid tasks they made the girls do - making collages that expressed their trueselves; ad libbing chocolate commercials; modelling like statues while pigeons pooped on their heads - didn't mean poo poo because in the end they picked the girl that was the prettiest which is basically a good lesson for life. The best looking people often have the best advantages. I never thought I could hooked on a show like this but I did.

Maybe it's because of Tyra Banks mission to prove she's more than just a pretty face by hosting two shows with little to no talent. Maybe it' s the bitchy runway coach Miss Jay, that was born a man but dresses like a woman. Maybe it's the involvement of Twiggy - the fashion model who made anorexia all the rage. Maybe it's the human drama, the conflicts between the girls competing for the top spot. Or maybe it's the lack of narrative and story line. Nothing to follow, nothing to think about. Not too demanding on the aging Val brain. Yeah. It was just the thing.

I ate tuna and crackers, leak and potato soup and lemon jello while watching America's Next Top Model and then The Apprentice with Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart's Apprentice only requires a little bit more thought than the model show. And that thought is "I'm glad on not competing on either of those shows" because that would require too much thought and effort.

Now, I've got Law & Order on the boob tube and Bernie Koppel of Get Smart and Love Boat fame is playing a presumable murderous rabbi. I could watch Law and Order all day long if it weren't fattening and didn't' kill brain cells to do so. I've lost a lot of brain cells watching Law & Order because it's like TV crack. It's on every day; ev-er-y day on TNT. And now? SVU is on every day on the USA network. It's so familiar and comfortable - the producers hardly ever stray away from the format.

I might have to join a support group.

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