Thirteen

I just watched a movie called Thirteen about a thirteen year old girl who because she wants to be popular lets another thirteen year old girl ruin her life. After becoming friends with the most popular girl in the school, she starts stealing, doing drugs and giving blowjobs. In doing so, she loses her old friends, her status as top student in the class and her innocence. I remember when this movie originally came out, it received a lot of press because the screenplay was written by a young woman, possibly a teenager, based on her own life.

I understand how hard it is to be thirteen and unpopular. I felt so dorky at that age and I looked dorky too. My body was starting to fill out in weird ways. I didn't think anybody liked me and that's not too far from the truth. I did have a few friends but nothing like the more popular kids. I was friends with the only Iranian girl in my first year of junior high which was quite a big deal in 1980. We were very close and enjoyed making tapes of make believe news shows, interviews and comedy sketches and making fun of her older brother (who was considered the hottest boy in town). I was also friends with a boy on my block and we enjoyed making tapes of newshows, interview programs and comedy sketches and making fun of our younger brothers.

I was embarrassed by my family, by my clothing, by my pale skin and weird hair that I couldn't do anything with but I was INNOCENT. I didn't know that there was such a thing as recreational drugs. I basically listened to classical music all the time because I was studying music and that's usually what my mother had on the radio, so I didn't know anything about rock and roll. I only knew the mechanics of sex and it was what people did after they got married. But I didn't think about it. The possibility that I would be having sex at anytime in my future life wasn't even a thought.

As dorky and weird as I felt I was I still would rather have been that innocent thirteen year old than the one portrayed in that movie.