Dating Amnesia

The Anonymous Bloggette wrote on April 4th that something happens to some women when they start dating, that they get dating amnesia and start blaming the "single girl" for her state of aloneness. I would like to say to the Bloggette that I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN. I was single fora very long time. Part of that time I spent single and not dating intentionally. Why? Because the two relationships I was in during the four year span before my 26th birthday had both turned out to be disasters.

I took some time to be on my own and figure out who I was. I recognized after a considerable amount of self analysis that my behavior was to blame for both situations - that I was not smart enough to realize that I didn't have to stay in either of those relationships. There's more to it, but I'm not into confessing my flaws and besides they are not the point of this post.

After about 5 years or so of being on my own and establishing my own strong identity, I started joining group activities.

Here is the point. I joined those group activities in the interest of growing myself and to benefit from the secondary purpose of any institution, socializing. I looked and scoured and tried to find someone new for my new personality. Was I to blame for not being able to find someone? I was actively looking. I did find people I liked but they were poorly chosen because they didn't return my feelings. Finally, I found an activity that I really, really enjoyed and through that activity found the one I'm going to marry.

Finding someone is a long hard process and the way to go about it is different for everyone. The single person is not to blame for being single especially if they are being open minded and giving others a chance by dating, talking, doing, seeing, listening, etcetera. You also have to know yourself better than you ever have before. It is only through knowing yourself that you will know who is and isn't right for you.

If you are NOT TRYING and NOT GIVING OTHERS A CHANCE and NOT WORKING ON YOURSELF then YOU ARE TO BLAME.

Do you think the right person is just going to knock on your door and ask to borrow a cup of sugar or some cleaning solution? No. You have to go somewhere and be seen as well as see others. You have to be noticeable. You have to be out there.

Now, that last bit of advice is NOT Anonymous Bloggette specific. I know the Bloggette is out there and really working hard and building relationships and keeping it real. That last bit is for those who happen upon this page and need to read that and need to hear and believe it as the wake up call it is.

For those who are trying, I don't know what to tell you. There is nothing anyone can say to help especially if you feel you are doing everything you can. Perhaps look at what you're doing and keep switching it up so you don't get stale or too jaded. Make sure you are not sabotaging yourself with unconscious body language and negativity.

Just know that I threw in the dating towel a long time ago. Joining trivia was just to keep me active and social and meeting new people so I wouldn't disappear among people my age. Finding Jon was a pleasant and wonderful surprise. I was lucky. Perhaps you need a bit of luck. I know I sure did. My luck had been bad for several years previous. But now I feel that my luck is better. But I worked hard for that turn of luck. As my mother says . . . "The harder you work, the luckier you get" but that's not always true either. Sometimes you are just working harder.

Today is Friday

Jon has a byline in today's New York Post. See if you can find it. I'm very proud of him.

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Today is Friday, Friday, Friday
It will be a fun day, fun day
All day long.
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That's right boys and girls. It's Friday morning and I'm recovering from my Friday morning workout with Brandon. Actually, he went a little easy on me this morning which I really appreciated. Wednesday morning's workout had me in tears. My body can not do what my mind envisions and that can lead to frustration sometimes. Brandon is a good guy. He talked me into feeling better and we're tweeking some things in my diet. My body plateaued and my weight isn't budging although my body fat is down 1 full per cent.
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I'm drinking POM wonderful 100% pomegranate juice. It 100% tastes like cranberry juice. It's tart so you can't really gulp it down and I don't find it terribly refreshing but it's supposed to be good for you.

Soy Good

I started eating soy yogurt in order to satisfy my morning protein requirement. The first brand I tried, Silk Cultured Soy, didn't taste great but it was good enough to fill the void. Recently, I purchased Stonybrook Farms O Soy Yogurt and it is fantastic. It is creamy and smooth and delicious. I LOVE it. I would eat salad for breakfast if I could but salad isn't really that good until about lunch time.
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Thank you to Vidiot for pointing out that I misspelled Emile Griffith explaining why I had trouble finding a good site to link to.
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For those of you who don't know, this week is Passover - the week when Jewish people commemorate our exodus from Egypt thanks to the postive machinations of Moses, his brother Aaron and of course God. One of my favorite stories is the one which explains why there were so many Jewish people in Egypt in the first place. You know it too. It's the one about Joseph who read the dreams of the Pharaoh and by doing so saved Egypt from starvation and helped to build the nation of Israel. Remember, he brought his family and other Jewish people into Egypt because of a big drought. Well, you know the story or don't you? If you don't. . .it's a good one.

Google Me This Batman

When is a regret at its strongest?
When the stock you wanted to buy but couldn't because you didn't have the money ends up being the more valuable than the best stocks out there. Google's stocks which opened at $85/share are now worth $275 to $290 each. And I knew, just knew like so many others that that stock was going to sky rocket and it did. I don't know anything about the market but I knew about Google. Argh!!
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Wow. There was an unexpected meteor shower last night and I missed it!! Apparently, it resulted in a flurry of phonecalls to local authorities according to that AP news story I linked to. I wish I had seen it. I was indoors watching two hours of The Contender on NBC and then playing Scrabble with my betrothed.
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You can add The Contender to my list of favorite TV shows. The formula is typical of Mark Burnett reality shows which probably explains why I am addictively hooked to this program. I don't know why I was never interested in boxing before. Thanks to this program, my interest is growing and I'm learning more about it. Recently, USA Network ran a documentary on Emil Griffiths, the boxer who killed another boxer in the ring so many years ago. That was compelling. All boxing matches should contain a little back story. The back story is what drives my obsession with the NBC program.

If you don't know the story of Emile Griffiths, you should look it up. I would do it for you but I'm having some trouble finding an effective search term. His name in Google doesn't seem to bring me where I want to be fast enough.

Work It Out

Great workout this morning. It still hurt but I am getting stronger. Before if something hurt, I had to stop, I just could not push myself through the pain. Things are different now. Shoulder workouts in particular are very painful but I managed to do three complete sets of everything the trainer through at me today and I'm getting smaller. You can see it. I look like I'm shrinking. This is good. This is very good.

The diet is going well, as well. I had a handful of cashew nuts as one of my snacks yesterday. It gave me more energy than my morning coffee. I was surprised. When I told my trainer he said that he didn't find that surprising at all because increased energy is a result of better nutrition. Wow. This kid really knows his stuff. He's smart. I'm glad to be working with him and no, he doesn't read this blog.

I'd Buy That For a Dollar

You Will Die at Age 76

76 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

But Of Course

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's Your Inner European?

One Week Ago Tonight

This is a picture from the last sunset we watched in St. Thomas, last Wednesday night.

New Pope

A new Pope was elected.
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Astoria is still as dirty and noisy as ever. MTA is improving our subway line which means inconvenience piled on top of inconvenience. Not only have they closed part of the street where they are working on the elevated train, causing people to walk out of their way to get past the intersection to the other side of the main street, but the noise created from the machines they are using to clean and paint the metal framework is relentessly deafening. They have been moving down the line for some months now so it's no surprise to anyone that the MTA is doing this work. We can take comfort in the fact that they will be moving along shortly although noone knows when. They are making everything that has rusted into an irreversible stage of ugliness, green and pretty.
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I started looking for a DJ for our wedding. This is an interesting research project and one that is going to require a lot of time. I put out some feelers last night. It seems they all need to meet with you to show you their video or DVD. I'm sure it's because they know that in sales, it's harder to reject someone you've met face to face than someone you speak to over the phone. Argh. Why do I have to know so much about how people yet not understand how to use that information?
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Tired. Working out. Results are showing which motivates to work harder. Every day a different part of me hurts but I'm beginning to enjoy it. Let me rephrase that. I'm beginning to really enjoy resistance training but continue to hate cardio. The cardio doesn't get easier or more enjoyable. It just always seems to suck. One trainer told me that the goal is to make it suck less but it will always suck on some level.

Blooming Central Park

So we went to Central Park today. We were trying to meet up with someone and finally caught up with them 3 blocks away from the Park in a restaurant. It was beautiful out today so naturally the crowds were really thick. We walked by the Central Park Zoo and made our way over to Sheep Meadow where thousands of people were congregated in a sun worshipping scrum. We watched the show off roller bladers, walked by Bethesda Fountain, strolled over to the Alice in Wonderland sculpture (kids were crawling all over that one, they were) and then we sat down on a bench and worked on our crossword puzzle until the hour arrived for our appointed meeting with our lunch dates.

I liked when we were sitting and working on the puzzle because we were simultaneously watching people as they passed us by. We saw an English Bulldog in a cage on a Radio Flyer wagon; we saw a little girl in a pretty green flowered dress riding her tricycle; we saw a weird woman pushing her dog in the equivalent of a stroller but for dogs; we saw a beautiful tri-colored Corgy with a smooth coat; we saw a beautiful little girl in a pink dress and pink socks throw the mother of all temper tantrums; we saw lots of stuff and things of interest.

It was a nice day.

Saturday in the Blargh . . . . .

Today I went shopping with the brides maids for dresses. My mother got a recommendation from work for the Bridal Building at 1385 Broadway, specifically a store called H & S on the 11th floor. That place was a nightmare.

If you are getting married and looking for a dress for either yourself or your bridal party do not, I repeat DO NOT go to H & S bridal in the Bridal Building in New York City. We walked in to what was essentially a big closet stuffed with dirty, disgusting white dresses. The dressing room was a big room stuffed with twice as many filthy, discarded, ripped, dezippered dresses.

My friends really were good sports because that experience would have dampened even Polly Anna's uplifted and delusonal spirits and they came out of it with smiles on their faces ready for more. After my friend tried on her second zipperless dress, I had to get out of there. We took a short break to regroup and decided on the Bridal shop at Macy's. That experience was like night and day. Macy's was a miracle.

We decided on a designer, a color, a fabric and a length. Within those parameters the women standing up for me will choose a style that suits them. It is a good solution to the problem of people looking ridiculous in one dress chosen by a power happy bride. Hopefully, it's a good solution. We all agreed on a color that should look good on everyone and is AUTUMN appropriate.

All that's left is the entertainment, the photographer, the flowers, and all of the fun little details that make a wedding fun.

My Life in a Hammock

For two hours of our vacation I rested in a hammock that was suspended between two coconut trees. It was seriously relaxing.

Coo Coo for Coconuts

Making Connections in San Juan

On the way to St. Thomas we had a short layover in San Juan, where we caught our connecting flight to the airport in St. Thomas. We were surprised when we looked at our tickets and saw that our flight was moved back three hours, but we were determined to make the best of it. We had a chance to walk around the airport, pick up a few San Juan specific souvenirs and gather ourselves for the rest of our journey. Finally, we got bored and decided to just wait by the gate for our flight.

I started working on a crossword puzzle. It was while we were sitting there that I noticed a man dressed like a Guardian Angel. I thought it odd that an Angel was patrolling the San Juan airport so I looked closer and realized that this particular Guardian Angel looked remarkably similar to Curtis Sliwa but I couldn't be sure because he looked exactly the same as I remember him looking 20 or so years ago. So I asked Jon and he wasn't entirely convinced either but saw a resemblance. We were both unsure and kept going back and forth in our conviction that it was indeed him. Jon went over to him and started to talking. From the distance I could see that we were correct. They were a having a good discussion. Jon pointed to me and I waved and Curtis Sliwa waved back. Good enough for me.

I went back to my crossword puzzle. Jon hadn't come back yet so I looked up to see what he was doing. He was walking back and following him was Curtis Sliwa who came over to say hello and kindly posed for a picture. I had a chance to fawn over him a little bit and tell him I was a fan and he spoke with us and another couple nearby for a few minutes. It was a great moment.

Turns out, Curtis Sliwa was headed to St. Croix to graduate a class of new Guardian Angels. He told us that there was a growing crime problem on that island and sure enough. Three days later, there was an article in the St. Thomas paper about the ceremony. There really is a bad crime problem there.

It was a great experience and a good way to kill half an hour.

Greetings from St. Thomas

St. Thomas is very pretty. We have been taking pictures. So don't worry. You'll see some fun in the sun when we get back on Thursday.

Friday night, while we were waiting for our connecting flight, we spotted Curtis Sliwa in his Guardian Angels jacket and beret. He was connecting to St. Croix to graduate a group of fledgling Angels. Apparently they have a bad crack problem on the island. He was kind enough to pose for a photo which I will post shortly. He was very easy to spot.

Our first full day, Saturday, was spent entirely at Secret Harbour Beach Resort. If you look closely at the picture, you can see our room. It's all the way to the right, in the last building on the top floor. Our balcony overlooks that turquoise water and much tropical flora and fauna. All those dark spots in that beautiful water are coral reefs which Jon and I have both explored and will explore again tomorrow. WE LOVE SNORKELING.

On Sunday we took a boat to the island of St. John where we went to Cinnamon Bay, the most beautiful beach on Earth. Cinnamon Bay is surrounded by beautiful coral reefs which we again explored through the miracle of snorkeling. It's also completely undeveloped so when you're about 30 feet off the coast and you look back, all you see is beach and a 1,000 acres of green and lush tropical vegetation. You might be thinking to yourself, wow and you'd be right. It's pretty wow inspiring and so is my sunburn. I was wearing SPF 50 and still the Caribbean sun made its way to my skin which is why . . ..

Today we are in Charlotte Amalie, the capital of the Virgin Islands. Everything here is tax and duty free. We don't have to pay any taxes so everything is tax free and cheaper. We are here doing something foreign and unfamiliar to me. . .shopping for fun. It takes some adjustment but I am finding, like snorkeling, if I just relax and remember to breathe, it's actually quite enjoyable. We're sitting in a delightful cafe called Beans, Bytes and Websites, where we are hiding a little bit from the heat. It won't be all shopping. There is a bit of history here that we want to check out. For instance, the St. Thomas Synagogue is the second oldest synagogue in the Western Hemisphere and it is walking distance from where we are sitting. We are also enjoying the beautiful architecture, beautiful weather, beautiful views and beautiful everything.

Tomorrow, our last day here, we plan to spend at the resort. We are considering kayaking but I would like to do a little more snorkeling, maybe going out a little further this time, now that I've built up some confidence.

See you soon.

Honey Luna plus other stuff and things

Honeyluna.com
There is a website where couples can register for their honeymoons called HoneyLuna - their tagline is "the premier online honeymoon registry service since 1995". This is a great site and a great idea. The way it works is people buy shares of different aspects of the honeymoon the way someone would buy a place setting from your registry at Fortunoffs. They break down each aspect of the trip - flight 44 shares; hotel 30 shares; massage 10 shares; dinner at Petrossia 700 shares - and people contribute buy purchase the shares. Do you get it? If you don't, that's okay . . . you can go to their amazingly cool website Honeyluna.com

I have questions about this concept. As amazing as I think it is, is this something we should do? Are we crossing some kind of etiquette line by asking people to pay for our honeymoon? And if we do register here, does that mean we can't register any where else? I mean much stuff can we conceivably register for?

What do you think?
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For Whom the Bell Tolls
March and April have been a good season for death. These two were added to the April death toll as of yesterday's news - Saul Bellow and Prince Rainier. I think I may have read a book by Bellow about Hungary during the HOLOCAUST. It may have been someone else. How embarrassing. I've read so many books, I don't remember who wrote what. However the book about Hungary was riveting either way and very sad. So much fiction and non-fiction have arisen out of people's true WWII stories. I believe no other world event has had more influence on the world.

My condolences go out to the families of Saul Bellow and Prince Rainier. I'm so sorry for your respective losses.
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Getaway Romance
Thursday is my Friday. We will be taking a short vacation in a tropical paradise. If there is a computer with internet access, you can be rest assured that I will be providing updates during our trip. If you don't hear from me again, it means we decided to hideaway from the rest of the world and spend the rest of our lives in a perfect bliss and harmony.

Old Navy

Good ole Old Navy. Last night young Sarah and I went to Old Navy. I bought a couple of pairs of shorts and a T-shirt. Downstairs, at the 18th Street Old Navy, we discovered someone left Magic unattended in the Old Navy truck - or Magic took the truck out while his owner was sleeping. All joking aside, when Sarah went over to pet plastic Magic I just had to take a picture. Isnt' she cute, America? Old Navy works for me when it comes to clothing for below my waist, but they are no help to me when it comes to shirts - no help at all. That's truly a shame because we're going on a tropical get away and I need to find some shirts.

Professor. A Question.

Why are the flags at half mast for the Pope?

A Bit of Ranting

I was suckin' in the Oxygen pretty hard when I got off of the elliptical machine this morning. So imagine how "happy" I was when I got to the locker room and Miss Thing #75 was planted in front of the mirror in bra and panties (yuck)with a curling iron in one hand and lifetime supply of hairspray in the other, which she had evidently sprayed into every corner of the locker room.

I could taste her hair care products while trying to recover and slow down my breathing and get my heart to stop pounding through my chest.

That's not right. I left because that was only a pitstop. I just wanted to put away my CD and headset. I wanted to work on a couple of machines while my heart was still pumping pretty fast and I did. For the next fifteen minutes or so I did a little of this and a little of that and it felt great.

When I went back to the locker room, this chick was still there and she was still in her stupid bra. How long does it take to put on a freakin' shirt?

I complained to the manager. On the way out, I asked if the CLUB could ban the use of haircare products in the locker room particularly hairspray because it is toxic.

He said he would speak to his district manager. Then he said some other understanding, placating, calm-the-customer down type things and wished me a kind day.

I must sound a like a nut job to these people.

I Am Registered!!

Well. Yesterday was quite the fine day for ducks, wasn't it?

The rains and winds were phenomenal. Yet I still went into the city, in spite of the weather to meet two of my bridesmaids at Crate & Barrel. Thank you so much ladies for the braving the weather. Once we were inside it was fine. I'm not going to bore you with the details of our registry. If you really are curious, you can go to the website.

What was more interesting was the surreal feeling of walking around with a scanner and picking items that I think people should give us as gifts for our wedding. Nobody talks about that. How weird it is. You actually have to feel good enough about yourself to go around picking things that you are assuming people want to buy you because you assume they are happy for you and want to help celebrate.

It was strange. I've never been the kind of girl to fantasize about a wedding and everything that goes with it, so to actually be doing it is . . .I don't how to explain it.

I've been thinking about how I can explain the disconnected feeling inside me... not like in a crazy way. It's more like I have two selves. One self is very cynical and thinks weddings are utilitairian in that they are nothing more than an opportunity for the families of the brides and grooms to get together. The other self is actually, genuinely, out of her mind excited that I get to do all this stuff that married women before me have been doing for 100 years. The cynical self doesn't believe for one second that people really give a shit about me and my life or care about my happiness. The other thinks that everyone is great and deserves one opportunity like this where they can be celebrated and told how special they are.

I know there is some weird feminine psychology going on here too but I'm still thinking about to phrase it.

Do you get me?

The Pope Hangs On

The Pope isn't dead yet. It's 9:20 Saturday morning, April 2.

I'm waiting for my friend Sarah's appearance as Ms. Frizzle on the TODAY SHOW but nothing yet.

The plumber was here this morning. He unclogged our drain. It was gross and I'm glad the building had to pay for that because I would have felt stupid after seeing how easy a problem it was to fix - or - perhaps the plumber made it look easy because he's a plumber.

Friday

Terry Schiavo passed away. My condolences to the family. I hope the husband stops being a dick and works out the burial details with her blood relatives. There is nothing likable about that Schiavo husband, nothing at all.

The Pope is dying. I hope for his sake that his death isn't long and drawn out and that his suffering is minimal. I always liked the Pope.
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I'm still alive.Jon and I walked from our building in Astoria, over the Queensboro bridge and then to 57th and 7th yesterday morning. I was half an hour late for work but it was a good was.My workout this morning was rough. Brandon really pushed me hard. Ouch. I was crying at one point.
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Tomorrow, I'm taking two of my bridesmaids along to register at Crate & Barrel.