Non-superficial Deal Closers
Here is a list of my own in no particular order - getting on board with the discussion started by The Anonymous Bloggette, then continued by Candy Blue Kite (s0rry to read about your boyfriend), et al.
Love and Appreciation of Cartoons
I need someone who grew up watching cartoons and still loves them. I need that someone to understand why cartoons are great for obvious and not so obvious reasons, who can appreciate the subtle or overt social commentary on both a serious and ironic level.
Love of Animals
I'm with the Bloggette on this one. Someone who loves animals, wouldn't harm them, gets emotional when they hear a sad story about one. If someone could be mean to animals, they could be mean to you.
Unless someone's parents/family are absolute monsters, there should be at least a working relationship in place. This communicates an understanding of relationships and the efforts required to be involved in long term and intricate emotional bonds.
A Kind Disposition
Nice guys don't always finish last. I need someone who is empathetic to those around him, someone who is moved by the struggles and/or misfortunes of others or who gets joy from good news.
A Sense of Self
Someone who is confident; who is not afraid to be himself; someone who can say no to me; someone who has interests that are similar to mine so we have common ground, yet enough that are different that I can be turned on to new things.
This may seem superficial but it's not really if you think about it. If a guy were too smart for me, I would never feel like I was good enough for that person. So it makes sense that I would want someone who wouldn't feel that way with me. Not that I'm some kind of genius, but I'm no dope needah. I need someone who gets my jokes, understands my cultural references and does not look at me like I have four heads when I use words with four or more syllables. I need someone who doesn't feel threatened by me.
After years of dating men with vastly different backgrounds I've decided that someone with a similar upbringing in the areas of both religion and education is best for me.
Adequate to neurotic personal hygiene must be in place if I am to be your friend, let alone your intimate relation.