July 22, 2004

The Day Before Friday

Lordy Loo.  It's the day before Friday.  I made it over the mountain and I can see homestretch.  My week has been a lot like this last leg of the Tour de France where Lance took the lead.  He kills in the mountains.

I'm tired but in a good way.  Made more progress last night on the apt.  I've been throwing away a lot of stuff.....last night I threw out an almost love letter from a man I knew in college.  When he left school, he graduated one semester before me, he wrote me a note expressing how he was sorry he was mean to me and regretted not having gotten involved with me because we could have had something special.  Well. . .I guess he was right, we could have had something special for about two minutes and then much to our surprise it would have been over JUST LIKE THAT!!!!   LOSER!!!!!!!  I was happy to toss out his note considering I hadn't looked at it since I put it in my filing cabinet 11 years ago.    I also threw out the picture of him I made for one of my photo classes; a playbill of a student production in which he starred;  and a postcard where he referred to me as Hazel Nut.

Yes.  I threw out little bits and pieces of my past and we know how hard that is.  I threw away the pay stubs from the jobs I've had over the last 8 - 10 years.  Goodness only knows why I was holding on to those bitter reminders of past crappy jobs.  Those weren't as tough to throw out as one would think.

What else did I throw away?  Bank statements from accounts that no longer exist; photocopies and printouts of articles that I was interested in 10 years ago about male rape (don't ask); letters I've written to people over the years but never sent (thank goodness, you know those letters); notepads with random scribbles and shopping lists that mean nothing now.

When J came over last night, he commented that I look like I lost weight.  I did in a way.  I lost or threw out a lot of baggage to make room for someone new and it feels great!!!!

And I am actually losing weight, which is weird considering you're supposed to gain weight when you quit smoking.  It must be an oxygen thing.


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