September 11, 2006

Flavor of Love 2 - Episode 6

Who Loves New York
I'm sure a lot of us were disappointed when Flav decided against giving Like Dat a clock during the last elimination ceremony. And I'm sure we all understood why he did eliminate her after Flav introduced Tiffany "New York" Patterson. Originally, I believed he was being kind to her, not wanting to lead her on. But now, I think in addition to that, he knew that a woman like Like Dat could probably kill a woman like Tiffany "New York" Patterson. Not that she would but I'm guessing the producers didn't want to chance it. I figured out in those early moments of the show that New York was there to stir things up. This bunch has its conflicts but nothing as exciting as last season. New York was there to add flavor.

Segment I
The Return of Tiffany "New York" Patterson

So. With all that said. Let's get started. After Flav's ceremonial toast to the girl who left and the girls who remain, he introduced New York as a special guest. When she walked in the first thought I had was "she's had work done - an eye lift for sure". Remember how her eyes always seemed half closed last season?And she lost weight which I'm sure she did a very healthy and doctor approved manner. (It's shame when you're a pretty woman that's already getting unnecessary plastic surgery done in your early 20's.) For the most part, she looked pretty.

Flav greeted her with a long, tongue ridden kiss (after doing the same to Beatuful moments earlier if you remember. See Episode 5 recap - last part.) Cut to Deelishus miming throwing up and then cut to her camera interview. "I literally threw up in my mouth." Actually it was figuratively because she only mimed throwing up. But I won't split hairs. Then Bootz told the camera, "I'm so shocked he brung her here and what the &%#@ is she doing here?" He told the womyn that New York was there to help with the next elimination ceremony and they should make her feel at home.

Then Flav left her alone with them. He wasn't even to the top of the stairs when she started laying into them about how they better treat her right. Her delusional butt then told them that she was in charge of the next elimination ceremony - on the heels of Flav saying she was only there to "help".

Liquor is Quicker
The next scene found the viewer in the den or whatever Flav calls that room in his house with the bar. Buckwild had a drink ready for her but New York insisted she pour her a fresh glass because she didn't know or trust Buckwild and was scared she might slip her a mickey. New York wasted no time sizing up the women. She asked them how they felt about her being there. Bootz, God bless her, told New York that she didn't appreciate her being there because she was just one more woman in the house to distract her from her man. This didn't sit too well with New York and an argument ensued. At this point, I started hoping that New York wasn't on the show for the rest of the season because truly crazy people are hard to watch.

Cold Sore
Next, in the bedroom, the women were relaxing after a hard day of partying. They were discussing New York and how they resented having to be judged by that crazy woman. While this was going on, Krazy was in the bathroom. She looked grossed out. She told the camera that another woman in the house told her that Beatuful had a cold sore. She was concerned because of all the kissing that goes on in the house. Krazy walked into the bedroom and in front of everyone, asked Beatuful if she had a cold sore. Beatuful said she did have one and then said to the room, "You make it sound like I had AIDS or something" and laughed it off. Dr. Nibblz added that unless Flav used an alcohol wipe on his lips every time he kissed Beatuful, they might all end up with cold sores because cold sores are contagious. It would be disturbing if in upcoming episodes all the women had cold sores on their mouths. Yuck.

Back in the Saddle
Before the night was out, New York found her way back to Flav's bedroom. At this point, it was pointless thinking that New York was leaving after this episode. I was now convinced that she would be finishing the season with the other contestants. Because the producers were dedicating a lot of time to this story line.

She got into his bed and they started making out. If it went any further than kissing and petting, I doubt we'll ever really know the truth. Everything is so forced and fake with the two of them. Watching them act so wooden around each other, it's hard to believe that either of them thinks it's a good idea for them to be together. And watching them make out was nauseating. If you watch a re-run of this episode during the week be sure your stomach is empty.

Next Morning
By the time the women woke up, New York was already hogging the bathroom, so they went downstairs to read their Flavor-Gram. The day's activities were to be centered around Flav's photo shoot for Urb Magazine with the girls and he was putting New York in charge of getting them ready because she was the best at looking good and representing her man. The Flavor-Gram ended with the news that Flav had dresses waiting for them upstairs. All the women started running so they could choose a dress and get ready. Buckwild told the camera that even though New York was supposed to be in charge of getting them ready, she was in the bathroom putting on even more makeup.

Then after hogging up the bathroom for most of the morning, New York told everyone they had 30 minutes to get ready. Cut to women scurrying around their suite. Cut to New York downstairs tapping her foot and looking at her watch. Cut to women scurrying. Cut to New York screaming at them to get their asses downstairs. Cut to New York telling the camera that she's back.

All this happened in just the first 10 minutes of the show.

Segment II
Fashion Show
After the commercial break, New York was screaming up the stairs for the girls to come down. She screamed and she screamed and she screamed. Buckwild was the first one downstairs because she was actually trying to make a good impression on psychobitch. Bootz was last. And New York demanded an apology. She didn't get one. The girls stood in a line so New York get a good look at them to make sure they were ready. She put them under the microscope and made suggestions to help improve their collective appearance. Then she sent the girls back upstairs to make improvements.

She lined them up and Flav came down and was impressed with how good everyone looked. He asked New York how she did it. And she said it wasn't easy and listed each of the flaws she had to correct. Then she told the camera how difficult it was for her to help Flav choose from this bunch because she kept replaying their history in her head. Boo hoo. I'm convinced at this point that she is going to be in every episode from here on in. And then I remembered reading somwhere that the two of them are slotted for a reality show together. And then it all started making sense. The producers were setting us up for a future reality show starring New York and Flav.

The segment ended with everyone sitting together uncomfortably in the combination SUV/Limousine. Flav comments that he's never seen the contestants so quiet. In his camera interview he said that there were two vibes in the car. One was coming from the girls and the other from New York. The girls' vibe was wishing that New York would go home and New York's vibe was claiming victory over Flav

Segment III
Limousine Con't
In the limo, Flav started an uncomfortable conversation with Nibblz. He told her she's a beautiful person, that she is what she is. And then in front of everyone, he said he would have trouble figuring out how he could fit her into his life if were to keep her around. He told the camera he was concerned how his children would be affected by having a stripper in their lives. It's interesting to me how a man who is on a show that suggests he sleeps with a different woman every night, would be concerned that his children would upset that one of those woman has a pole in her living room.

URB Magazine Shoot
In short:
New York told all the women they were slobs.
New York had a tantrum because Flav seemingly sided with Buckwild after a confrontation.
Krazy picked a fight with New York accusing her of not really being in charge of eliminations which turned physical.
URB Magazine interviewed the girls who identified BOOTZ as the biggest bitch and Krazy as the biggest fake.
Flav tells the girls that New York is not in charge of eliminations and then speaks with New York about her impression of the girls. She thought Nibblz was nasty, Bootz and Deelishus were the most genuine, Buckeey and Beatuful were too flat, and Buckwild and Krazy were fakes.

Back at the Mansion
Deelishus and New York were having a heart to heart which Krazy was listening to intently because it was about her. Krazy, not one to stand by idly while her character was being slandered, walked in on the conversation and confronted Deelishus. The argument was again about the "real reason" why Krazy was there. Flav overheard everything and got involved in the conversation. When he found out that Krazy had been telling the other women about his personal business he was very upset. Deelishus certainly didn't think that Krazy should be talking out of school about her private time wtih Flav. Flav agreed that what happens in his hot tub should stay in his hot tub.

He had a private conversation with Krazy to find out if what the other women were saying is true. He must really like this one because in spite of what everyone has told him about her being a big, fat phony he believes every word that comes out of her mouth. It's credit to the unstoppable power of pretty. Pretty is often associated with honest. And she is very pretty.

During their time alone she told him that she wasn't going to kiss him and then told him that Beatuful had a cold sore. Talk about desperation. But it worked. And Flav brought that information with him to the elimination ceremony.

Segment IV
The first two women to receive clocks were Deelishus and Bootz. The next two were Buckeey and Buckwild. That left Krazy, Nibblz and Beatuful. He gave a clock to Krazy - fake as she is, she was still prettier than the other two women. He called Beatuful over too tell her that he needed a more aggressive woman and set her home. Then he called Nibblz over and said that he admired her honesty about being a stripper but didn't see her fitting anywhere into his life because he didn't think his children would accept his relationship with an internet stripper.

Then the unthinkable happened. Just when the women thought the show was over, Flav gave New York her old clock back and asked her to rejoin the show.

This was unacceptable to Buckwild. She went over to Flav and handed him back her clock. She didn't think New York was stable and feared for her safety. She went on for about 30 seconds regarding her fears when Flav noticed that her accent disappeared. I didn't hear that it disappeared. She always sounded the same to me but I guess to someone with an ear for accents as sophisticated as Flava Flav, there was a difference. Buckwild told the camera in the end that she didn't want to end up back in jail for violating her parole and she was scared a physical confrontation with New York was eminent.

Apparently she's right because in the previews for the weeks to come, New York is seen pushing people around.

Final Thought
They ruined the show. They brought New York back and they ruined a show. They took a show that was already bad but in a fun way and are turning into a show that will be bad in a bad way. I'm very disappointed.

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