Get the Hennessy, your best five inch f*** me pumps and the stripper pole because it's time for the new season of Flavor of Love. In the first episode 20 women came to Flavor's mansion to establish themselves as contenders for a piece of Flava Flav's heart. The opening show involved a lot of drinking, trash talking and girl-on-girl action. The girl-on-girl action included both cat fighting and drunken flirtation.
After several hours of partying, Flava Flav descended the stairs of his decadent house in an outfit typical of the whacky image he continues to portray to the viewing public.
If you don't know what I mean, I'll explain. Because he wants us to know that he knows what time it is, he accesorizes every colorful and ostentatious pimp like outfit with an enormous clock which he hangs around his neck. Outfits also often include capes, crowns and scepters.
He came down to rename the women because he claims that since he'll never be able to remember their given names, by nicknaming them it will be easier for him to remember who is who.
Based on their personalities here are the names he gave the women in the house:
Nibblz - because she talks like Mike Tyson
Buckwild - because it was on her belt buckle
Spunkeey - because she bounced a lot
Toastee - because she was drunk
Hood - because she is from the neighborhood of Compton, CA
Tiger - because she is an animal trainer
Buckeey - because she may have bucked her body like a wild buck when he met her but I honestly don't remember
Like Dat - because she tells it like it is
Beatuful - because she's pretty - either that or because she is being considered for sainthood
Payshyntz - because she was so patient while he tried to figure out her nickname
Saaphyri - I don't remember
H-Town - because she is from Houston, I think
Krazy - presumably she presents herself as crazy
Wire - because she is nervous and jumpy
Bootz - because he wants to knock boots with her?
Bamma - because she is from Alabama
Somethin - because she's not thin and there is something to her body mass index
Choclat - I don't know. Maybe 'cause he thinks she's sweet and he wants to eat her?
Deelishis - I don't know but I can guess
Eyez - presumable because she has pretty eyes but there could be another reason
After Flav renamed all the contestants, he revealed that one of the women in the group was a spy. Can you guess which one? If you guessed the one nicknamed EYEZ you would have been correct. So while all the women were getting drunk and talking trash with each other EYEZ was doing her best to figure out which of the women were there for Flav and which ones were there for the TV cameras.
Based on the information she gave him he was able to make an informed decision on who should stay in the house and who should go.
During all these going ons there were two fights that are worth mentioning.
One girl was upset with another girl and then accused of her not being real and not being there for the right reasons. It led to fisticuffs. Afterwards one of the women prayed to God to forgive her for kicking the other girl's ass. That was very special.
In the second fight, Somethin' just started screaming for no reason I truly understand. It ended with her threatening to break her champagne glass and then shoving it up the ass of the woman she was fighting with.
In the end, Flava Flav revealed that EYEZ was a spy, dismissed her from the show and then eliminated four women leaving 15 to vie for his affections. The Women who were chosen received clocks with their pictures on them that they wear around their necks like Flav.
After all was said and done, Somethin had an accident and left a trail of poop leading to the bathroom. VH1 ended the show with this incident in all its glory.
It was a very special episode.