August 26, 2006

Flavor of Love 2 - Episode 3

The following women were left as we went into Episode 3 entitled She Works Hard for her Honey: Tiger, Buckeey, Like Dat, Nibblz, Toasteee, Payshintz, Krazy, Bootz, Buckwild, Somethin', Deelishis, Beatuful. Based on the episode's title you probably have guessed by now that the tasks involve WORKING HARD.

For the first task, six of the 12 remaining women were sent to work at a Soul Food restaurant. The idea being that Flav wanted to make sure the women are into him for him and not for his money. He tells the camera, "I want a girl who's going to make her own money instead of spending up on mine." As if any one who lived with Flav would expect to work.

Bootz and Somethin' were put to work in the kitchen prepping food which involved gutting and defeathering chickens. As if that weren't gross enough they also had to gut, clean and scale fish. Deelishis was a hostess and server, Toasteee was the cashier and Buckwild and Krazy were waitresses. Buckwild is already a waitress so she thrived in the restaurant environment. I'm not sure how Krazy and Toasteee did because the editors and producers were mostly interested in showing Deelishis walking from behind while the male patrons watched her hang jawed. There was a lot of slow motion jiggling as she walked from one table to another checking on patrons and serving food. A female patron commented that "That is too much ass for one person."

The editors and producers were also interested in sharing what was going happening in the kitchen. Somethin' didn't take her positively disgusting kitchen duties seriously and goofed off to help cope. She goofed off so badly the manager of Soul Food fired her. Bootz on the other hand decided she was going to win this task and worked it out - reaching into the chicken's organ filled cavity with gusto and scooping out hearts, lungs etc. without flinching.

Bootz was right. He complimented the five who didn't get fired on how well they did and announced Bootz as the winner for so bravely dealing with disgusting animal parts. She won a ride in a convertible with Flava Flav. In his letter jacket, with 50's movie music playing on the soundtrack, he drove her to a Lover's Lane type parking spot and admired Los Angeles from their vantage point on top of a hill. He may or may not have made out with her. I'm not really sure because I got some cold water from the kitchen. But isn't that like a lame reward for all that disgusting hard work?

That night, back at the house, around bed time, Krazy tried to get Flav to lay with her in bed a few hours the night before. But he had Deelishis's rump on his brain and invited her to spend the night with him, which she did like a good Flavor of Love contestant ought not to do. Krazy, feeling rejected by Flav started ranting to some women in the garden. She was telling them she felt rejected when Somethin' delighted in telling Krazy that she saw Deelishis going into his room. Then Krazy started crying that Deelishis is kissing on her man or something to that effect. She cried and cried. Then the show cut to Deelishis telling a camera that because she was the first one to spend the night with Flav she'd probably be the first one they all turn on. And she mentions that her and Krazy probably won't be friends anymore. Quel domage.

The next day, the remaining six women took part in the "Hold Down the Fort Challenge" which basically cleaning up his friend's house the day after a party. I have the sneaking suspicion that the mess was created by VH1 staffers because grown up people don't live in trashed houses. Anyway the house was pretty disgusting and all the women worked very hard. Nibblz won the challenge because she cleaned the preternaturally disgusting bathroom. And when Flav announced she was the winner he accidentally referred to her as NIPPLZ.

What did she win? A private dinner with Flav. He was dressed up in his usual coronation regalia and when Nibblz arrived for dinner, he placed a tiara on her head to match his ridiculous crown. They sat at opposing ends of a huge table. Flav had a butler (or a hired actor portraying a butler) serving them. When the butler brought out medallions of beef cooked medium rare Flav sent them back to be cooked more. The butler brought them back charred and smoking and without flavor which seemed to be acceptable. Nibblz, poor thing, tried to have a conversation with Flav but they couldn't really hear each other because of the great distance between them. Flav moved closer to her. The butler brought out the hugest lobster I have ever seen which Flav attacked with a giant mallet. They didn't appear to eat any of the lobster. Chef should have just made fried chicken. Why bother?

While all this was going on, the 11 other women were having dinner outside by the pool. They decided to play a truth game where they could drink shots instead of answering questions honestly. Payshintz got into some trouble with the other girls because she started talking again about how she would rather be in Asia than putting up with drama here. This later led to a confrontation with Bootz, who then picked her second fight of the show. She sure is feisty. Earlier in the day she was fighting with Somethin' who was sticking up for herself because the other women slamming her for the pooping incident.

Anyway, Bootz makes Payshintz feel so bad that she starts to lose it a little and claims that if Flav gives Bootz a clock that she is leaving the show.

Tiger and Krazy go outside for some privacy so they can talk. Krazy starts crying to her about her passion for Flav and how she feels she's being thwarted by the other contestants. Tiger admits that she doesn't understand while all the women in the house are so excited about Flav. Bootz overhears this conversation and later, after dinner when she is talking privately with Flav, she rats out Tiger and Payshintz and talks shit about Somethin'.

Somethin' was eliminated because Flav couldn't get past the shit about the shit.

Tiger was eliminated because Flav accurately observed that she didn't fit in and that she most likely wouldn't be happy if she stayed on the show.

Payshintz, true to her confession to the group, rejected the clock from Flav because Bootz received a clock.

At the end of every episode, Flav cracks open a bottle of champagne and pours it onto his rug out of respect, not for his friends who have died in gang warfare, but for the women who were eliminated from the show.

In the previews for the next show, someone is going to be exposed as an adult entertainer.

Honestly, it could be any one of those women.

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