The big non-news story of the day seems to be that Paula Abdul allegedly had an affair with an American Idol contestant several years back. Whether it's true or not doesn't matter since the judges don't pick the winner - millions and millions of interested home viewers pick the winner - making this in an ABSOLUTE NON-NEWS STORY.
IN OTHER NON-NEWS
Now available - 15 pound hamburgers. 10.5 pounds of beef, 25 slices of cheese, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions, a cup-and-a-half each of mayonnaise, relish, ketchup, mustard and banana peppers - and a bun.