October 12, 2004

Dear Weird Guy at Gate 89 at Dorval Airport

Don't you think it was inappropriate to be reading your whackoff material in the waiting area with children present? Seeing the look on your face when you opened the first magazine was quite disturbing. But when you groaned while looking at the naked women in the third one, I just knew that you would be sitting near us on the flight. I wasn't surprised to see you sitting one row ahead, nor was I surprised when you started to snore so loudly it sounded like you were sawing wood. I felt bad for the guy sitting next to you, quietly reading his Tom Clancey paperback, especially when you started looking at whackoff magazine number four.

I hope I never have to see you again.

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