Dear Woman Sitting Next to Me on the Bench while I was Waiting for the R Train at 36th Avenue in Astoria:
You stink like Vodka and you are way too thin. You really need to eat something because Vodka doesn't have too much nutritional value. Also, please refrain from striking up conversations with me about your very narrow Size 11 feet the next time we are stuck together on a subway platform. I really don't care. And I thought that other woman's shoes were fine. Admittedly, I too would have had trouble walking in them but they worked on her.
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