August 04, 2007

Rock of Love - Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time - Episode 1

In the first show we met the 25 wanna-be rock girlfriends to Bret Michaels's (check out this link to his shameless website) Flav. The 25 contestants waited in a clump outside Michael's mansion (which I'm guessing was provided by VH1 like in Flavor of Love and I Love New York) while he rolled in (at about 5 mph) on his rock'n'roll motor cycle. Michaels waved hello and quickly went inside. It was at that time that his body guard, Big John (see Big Rick) picked five women out of the clump to send home - based on first impressions. In that group was a mess of a woman named Tiffany.

After the 20 remaining got set up in the "rock manor" and started drinking dubious amounts of alcohol, Tiffany decided that she wasn't going to accept Big John's word as final and stormed back to the manor and started pounding, pounding, pounding on the front door until he let her in. He told her that she could stay but she was going to have to sleep in the bathtub - which are better accommodations than she deserved. She got completely drunk, wasted, incoherent and made a fool of herself. She kept repeating the phrase "don't threaten me with a good time."

Because of her bad behavior she pushed away the other "womyn". When they wouldn't let her play their reindeer games, she of course interpreted that as a sign of jealousy. Surely, if she weren't such a serious competitor for Bret Michaels's love, they would be nicer to her. Talk about delusional. Of all the women there, she was by far, the sloppiest mess which is quite an accomplishment when you consider the level of sloppy drunkeness in the house.

In the interest of keeping this summary short (don't worry, they'll be plenty of time to get to know the contestants later) I'm going to leave out all the other personalities that were introduced that night. But among the women that Bret Michaels decided to keep around to "rock his world", Tiffany was chosen because he felt she deserved a second chance to prove how wonderful a person she could be if and when she got sober.

You see, he understands what it's like to get so wasted that you make a complete ass of yourself. I guess he didn't want to come off as a hippogriff, I mean a hypocrite. (Sorry, I've got Harry Potter on the brain).

He sent six women packing and 15 remained.

No comments: