April 13, 2007

Curtains for Onion Breath

This week I've been handing out headsets hand over fists to the patrons at Curtains currently playing at the Hirshfeld Theater. My headset console is located in a former closet, a situation which invites intimacy apparently. The patrons, very often, stand inches from my face when they make their requests for headsets "that work".

I'm not sure what's happening but onions seem to be popular with my older lady customers. More than half the women I've helped have expressed more than their need for a device to help them hear better. The sulfuric, acidic smell of onions has passed through many of their dentures and into my sweet unassuming face.

Of course, I can't say anything to them. A lot of the ladies are really sweet, and I've made at least $20 in tips this week.

But lordy loo. It takes a lot of energy to stand there smiling in the face of so much bad breath.

I just want to offer them all breath mints.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

A bowl of cheap peppermint candy would do no harm. Or you could start bootlegging Binaca.

AddledWriter said...

you get tips? ooh!

Sarah said...

I'm seeing Curtains tonight. Will you be there? I'll look for you.

Valerie said...

No. Sorry kiddo. I'm going to be at Journey's End this week.