Fall Into The Gap

If you remember the above advertising campaign, then you probably remember when The Gap made comfortable jeans that everybody could wear. But like any business it's grown over the years and had become an important part of the fashion industry. Mostly, they sell comfortable casual clothes for men, women and children.

I was surprised however when I went to their website today and found this picture of an emaciated woman on their front page.

I know that there are some of you that are looking at the above woman with the thought that she is hot, sexy, or desirable. Maybe she is to you. But when I see her, I see a woman who is putting her life in danger for the sake of maintaining an ideal that can't be maintained without long term damage to her body.

The woman pictured above is WAY too thin. I mean you can see her shoulder bones poking through the shirt.

I'm disappointed because GAP is an American institution like Levi's or Nathan's hot dogs. When they picture a model this thin in their advertising they are sending a message to hundreds and thousands of women, teen girls and children that to be this thin is okay.

There should be more intervention when it comes to featuring emaciated women like the above.

There should be a minimum size requirement based on height. The woman above could gain 10 pounds still look thin and be healthier. But instead she looks like a Holocaust survivor in a pretty outfit. She even has that dull starving to death look in her eye.

Not fashionable.

My Sister's Keeper

...is the title of the book I just finished. The book is about a 13-year-old girl who is suing her parents for the medical rights to her own body because all of her life she's been a blood and tissue donor for her sick older sister. This compelling story is told from the points of view of several different characters and explores a family's dynamics where everyone's life focuses and has been focused on one of their teenage daughters and her lifelong battle with a rare form of cancer. What happens in that book made be burn through it in only 3 sittings. You'll need a box of tissues for this one. I was pretty wrecked by the ending.

My Sister's Keeper was written by Jodi Piccoult and it's the second book of hers that I've read. The first book I read from Piccoult is called The Pact which deals with the aftermath of a pact where one of the suicidal teenagers survives. That's also a good read. And after that one you'll have second thoughts about children using public bathrooms alone. That's all I'm going to say about that one.

Both books were recommended to me by J, my sister-in-law. She's currently reading a third by Piccoult book called Vanishing Acts. The plot revolves around a woman who as an adult discovers that the man who raised her, that she thought was her father was actually a kidnapper who abducted her years and years ago. I'll probably read that one after I finish the book I'm currently exploring.

That book would be the Dover edition of Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs. I've had a hankerling lately to read the book that was the basis for a legacy of mostly ridiculous movies about a man raised by apes and living in the junble. But the book is off to a good start. It's written in that Victorian era style that combines third person accounts with first person narrative. I've made it past the mutiny that caused Tarzan's parents to be stranded in the jungle in the first place and just started reading about the apes that I guess will eventually adopt little Tarzan.

I'll let you know what happens.

The Drowsy Chaperone

Did you know that Georgia Engel appears in the Drowsy Chaperone as a supporting player? Her performance is one of many reasons that you should go see this play.

If you don't remember who she is, perhaps I can refresh your memory. Did you ever watch The Mary Tyler Moore show? Do you remember the ditsy blonde character with the high pitched voice and perfect comic timing that appeared as Ted Baxter's wife? That was her. Have you ever seen the later episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond where his brother Robert has to deal with his somewhat naive yet very judgemental in-laws? She played the mother-in-law. She's always sweet, funny, naive and charming and she brings all that and more to her performance of Mrs. Tottendale - mother of the bride.

Another great performance, that makes the > $100 asking price worth every penny, is given generously to willing audiences nightly by Danny Burstein as the Latin lethario Aldolpho. When I worked there last week the understudy was in and the performance while good wasn't quite the same. Burstein is a comic genius. His performance is hilarious and convincing and hilarious. I dare you NOT to laugh at his performance. He really delivers.

Everybody else is pretty great too.

As far as female comedic performances go I'd say Beth Leavel and Georgia Engel are pretty equal. Beth Leavel is shameless. She really goes balls out playing the title character to the max without going over the top or making it silly. Her voice is strong. You wouldn't believe a little skinny woman like her could belt the way she does but boy does she belt. And she is just so funny, using the perfect combination of camp and candor.

It's worth two hours of your time.

Who's My Little Monkey?

I worked at the Drowsy Chaperone for two weeks - the last week of 2006 and the first week of 2007. One of the lower lying themes in the Drowsy Chaperone has to do with monkeys. At the souvinir stand, a monkey wearing a t-shirt that says "Who's my little monkey" is available for the low, low, low price of $20.00. For the first week I worked there, J.M. (the woman working the stand)was selling the standard dark brown monkey pictured to the right. And every time I looked it I thought that it was cute but it was missing something.

Well into the middle of the second week I was working there, J.M. started running out of the dark brown monkeys and had to put out the light brown terry cloth monkeys discontinued months ago. That is what was missing. The dark brown monkeys were dark and plush but the light brown monkeys were happy and terry cloth. Much cooler.

I don't have any photos of the monkey yet - they are forthcoming. Jon and I have made a nice home for him. He likes to read with us in bed and he enjoys watching the occassional game of Lingo on the Gameshow Network. We named him MONKEY.

Which is my Good Side?

One of the marks of beauty in models that you see in high fashion magazines is symettry of their facial features. Most people don't have symettrical faces which is one of many reasons why models stand out. I wanted to see what my face would look like if all my features matched up perfectly. So, I looked through my old photos for a straight-on shot that I could manipulate in photoshop, which I did.

Which do you think is my better side?

My right side

or my left?

Hugh Jackman As I Live and Breathe

Yes. Saturday night, I was standing in front of my booth and something quite out of the ordinary occurred. Hugh Jackman walked by with his wife and a friend and then stopped 10 feet away from me to talk a little before the show.

What show was I working on? Does it matter? Well. You might want to know. I was handing out headsets at Drowsy Chaperone, standing by my console, waiting for hard of hearing patrons.

10 feet away from me. 10 feet. 10. Ahhhhhhhhh.

He is taller and thinner than he appears on screen. He was wearing glasses, a striped scarf, a plain sweater and jeans. And no one, with the exception of a couple of guys who may or may not have been a couple, recognized him. Of course, the house staff recognized him but we pretty much know better than to bug celebrities on an outing to the theater.

Anyway, this couple asked me if he was who he was and wanted to know if they should go up to him. I told them that he was indeed Hugh Jackman and that since no one was really bothering him that he probably wouldn't mind. They did approach him and Hugh Jackman handled the situation very nicely. He shook hands with them, spoke with them for two minutes or so and then posed for a photo.

I didn't find out until later that the blond with him was his wife. She's lovely but she's not GORGEOUS. I guess he's good looking enough for the both of them. She was an ordinary beautiful person (as opposed to a ridiculously beautiful movie star person). Not knowing anything about him, this didn't strike me as odd. Based on his demeanor, body language and tidbits of conversation, I judge him to be as regular a guy as I've ever seen a celebrity be.

So. Here is what I've learned from this experience.

1. Hugh Jackman is exceedingly handsome both on screen and in person.

2. He's not put off by fans approaching him and will probably react well if you were to approach him in a non-threatening way that wasn't in anyway rude or interruptive.

3. He's down to earth and married to a seemingly nice, down to earth person.

Look Deep Into My Eyes

Happy New Year - 2007

Four Dead Dictators

2006 was not a good year for dictators.

General Augusto Pinochet, died of a heart attack at the ripe old age of 91. His government murdered and tortured thousands of Chileans during his 17 year rule. He died before the many court cases meant to bring him down could be completed, cheating his people of justice.

Saparmurat Niyazov was the self proclaimed president of Turkmenistan. According to his Wikipedia article, foreign media considered Niyazov to be one of the world's most authoritarian and oppressive dictators in the world. He was a kook like most dictators and as proof of his kookiness instituted such kooky policies as requiring licensed drivers to pass a morality test and requiring doctors to swear an oath to him as president instead of the much loved and recognized Hippocratic Oath.

Another one who died before his people could receive justice for his crimes against humanity was the world famous, incredibly cruel and evil Slobodan Milosevic, former President of Yugoslavia and Serbia. The truly cruelest dictators usually have resumes that include genocide of their own people and Milosevic is no exception. He died while on trial at the Hague.

The frothy icing on the cake made from the metaphorically groundup bodies of dead dictators would have to be the hanging of Saddam Hussein. Now I know the war in Iraq is incredibly controversial and highly unpopular among most of my friends and a lot of people who come to this blog. But even if you don't agree with the ubiquitous presence of the US military in the hot bed of civil unrest known as Iraq, I'm sure most of you would agree that Saddam Hussein was no saint and that his death was welcome relief to many people who suffered injustice at the hands of that mad man.

He really was a despot that bullied and tormented and killed and frightened his citizens for years and years and years. And he was bat shit insane to boot.

The Vertical Hour

"right"/ />All this week, I've been working on The Vertical Hour. I've been doing other things as well but as far as work is concerned, that's where I've been. Since the previews, the director Sam Mendes changed a couple of things. When I first saw it during previews, Julianne Moore opened the show with a stunningly boring and terribly soft-spoken monologue which just didn't work. Mostly everyone complained that they couldn't hear her in the beginning and often that week, I would hand out headsets in the dark to people who decided after missing her monologue that they needed them for the rest of the show. Now, Bill Nighy opens the show with a monologue from later in the play and they moved her monologue to the middle of the first act. It works much better. Although I don't understand the purpose of the monologues at all. They don't really add much to the show.

He does well on stage. No matter how he's directed to stand, he always manages to turn and face the audience whenever he delivers a line. Julianne Moore however, follows her blocking blindly delivering lines stage right and stage left causing ever so many complaints from the audience. I must have heard the following 100 times this week.
"Why doesn't she project?"
"She doesn't know how to project."
"I can't hear anything she's saying."
"Every time she turns I miss what she's saying."
"The acoustics in this theater are so bad."

The acoustics at The Music Box theater are fine. It's the sound design that's bad. Why do they NEVER MIKE the actors in straight plays? I will never understand the logic behind this. If I were a playwright who'd managed to get a play staged on Broadway, I would want the audience to hear every word. But no. Instead. Some old fashioned notion about stage plays holds true. People pay upwards to $200 for tickets to some plays. Every effort should be made to make sure that these customers are getting their money's worth - and NOT RELY ON MY COMPANY to make up the deficit.

And it would also helped if Julianne Moore would learn how to project. Everyone else in the play with her manages to make themselves heard, in spite of the miking situation, except for her.

Did I mention, it's a really good play?

The second change may or may not be Ms. Moore's costumes.

New Teeth

My dentist put in porcelain veneers today.

When I was sixteen years old, I went head first over my handle bars on the way to my high school. The marching band was scheduled to compete at the Hofstra HS marching band competition that they have every year. My big Q-tip hat got caught between my handlebars and my front tire, thus causing the accident.

How did I land? I landed on my face, on my mouth specifically and broke my two front teeth. The cosmetic solution was bonding and for the last ten years or so, I've maintained the same bonding from a dentist in my hometown. But it looked awful. I never liked it. And on top of that they were all stained and crooked and I thought my teeth made me look poor. (see below)

So, I decided to do something about it, 20 something years later. So two weeks ago, in addition to my regular cleaning, my dentist fitted me for porcelain veneers - a more permanent solution than bonding but less permanent than crowns. For the last two weeks, I wore temporary teeth that while didn't look great looked 10 times better than my bonding.

Today, the doctor applied the veneers. I'm still numb from the novacaine shots. I haven't been able to feel any sensation in my nose for coming on 3 hours now and I'd really, really like to because I want to blow it but I'm scared of damaging it because of its completely numb state.

The teeth look good but feel strange. My bottom teeth are crowded which is something we're going to correct with a retainer. Already, my lower teeth have been hitting the veneers in a weird way. The retainer is going to straighten out my two front lower teeth which jut out. It shouldn't take too long to correct - actually the dentist said that before I finish paying him off the teeth will be straight. That correction will make it so, I never have to worry about my bottom teeth chipping my top teeth which had been a long standing problem with my teeth since I first had them repaired.

The only draw back is I have to take it easy for the next 24 hours until the bonding is completely set. That means no coffee or stain-causing liquids.

When I came home, I ate a piece of soup chicken and a little ice cream. It's hard to consume liquids because my upper lip is completely numb and out of my control but as the feeling comes back I'm optimistic I'll soon be able to eat some of my nourishing chicken soup.

Broadway Closings

High Fidelity is closing tomorrow after 18 previews and 14 performances. It filled the Imperial Theater to less than 50% of capacity. I guess the show's producers just didn't want to wait for the show to pick up steam through word of mouth. The bad reviews it received killed it's chances of making a lot of money in advance sales. Maybe the producers of the show were running a scam like in The Producers and are actually going to walk away with money because the show was a flop.
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Fame Becomes Me is also closing - January 7. I thought it would run longer. It's a strong show with good songs and even greater performances. The score was written by Marc Shaiman who also wrote the music for Hairspray. And features outstanding performances from Mary Birdsong and Brooks Ashmanskas(Brooks if you're googling yourself and you find this post please note that you need a website). For Hannukah, I gave Jon a ticket to see it before it closes. He'll be sitting near the front and hopefully he'll called up on stage during the Jiminy Glick portion of the show.

High Fidelity - Notes

It's Saturday and I'm working a double dose of High Fidelity.

During the walk-in I was talking with one of the Associate Producers. He was telling me how upset he was about Ben Brantley's review from the Friday NY Times. I tried to reassure him that Ben Brantley was simply the wrong critic to have reviewed the show - that Brantley's taste was more like that of the blue haired old ladies that come to see Wednesday matinees than it was of the hipsters to whom they seem to be appealing. I told him that Brantley missed the point of the show - that he just didn't get it. I was kind of kissing his butt a little bit. After all, this guy I was talking to is a big time Broadway producer.

What was I going to say? That Ben Brantley was right? Of course not. If you read the Ben Brantley review from beginning to end you'll realize that his review is actually very well informed. He's read the book by Nick Hornby and he's seen the film by Stephen Frears. His observations are based on both literary and filmic experience with the story. On top of that, he knows Broadway and has been reviewing shows for quite some time. I think it's safe to say that he knows what he's talking about.

The general feeling is that Brantley's review was harsh. But if it were good, they would have been thrilled. But does Brantley give good reviews? I don't recall ever reading a review about anything that he liked. Here is a link to his theater reviews. Can you find a play that he liked?

High Fidelity isn't brilliant but it isn't awful either. If you use Wedding Singer and Les Miserables as measuring posts the Wedding Singer being the worst and Les Mis being the best, High Fidelity falls dead center in terms of commercial appeal. The show will definitely find its audience. All you have to do is to decide whether or not you want to be a part of that audience.

High Fidelity - Notes

The reviews on High Fidelity are in and the two I read weren't very good.

NY Times critic Ben Bradley said he's adding High Fidelity to his own top 5 list - All-Time Most Forgettable Musicals.

Clive Barnes from the NY Post described the musical as a brave but foolhardy attempt.

What did I think? It's alright. It's not THAT original anymore to base a musical on a movie. But producers are always going after that elusive young, straight male demographic. This musical is up there with the likes of Saturday Night Fever, Footloose (coincidentally, Tom Plotkin from the original Footloose cast is part of the High Fidelity group of understudies and stand-ins), Spamalot and The Wedding Singer.

The show is probably more like the movie starring John Cusack than it is like the book by Nick Hornby. Will Chase stars as the likeable but unlikeable protagonist who blames everyone but himself for his relationship failures. But he's not really unlikeable enough. Everyone in the show is talented of course but the show itself tries to hard. The music is just a little bit better than The Wedding Singer but not even half as good as Grey Gardens or Spring Awakening.

The coolest thing about High Fidelity are the sets. They morph seamlessly into bedrooms, record shops, bars, funeral homes, whatever the scene calls for.

There is one really fun scene in the second act which is a dream sequence where Rob fantasizes about killing his rival Ian. If that scene could have somehow been matched for comedy and energy throughout the whole musical, they would have something.

But don't worry. The more mediocre a show is, the better it seems to do these days. The box office will probably earn more than Spring Awakening which isn't even filling the theater. I mean the Imperial Theater was packed all week with well wishers and future High Fidelity repeaters.

Get a discounted ticket for this one. Don't pay full price.

High Fidelity - Opening Night

Tonight I worked the opening of High Fidelity at the Imperial Theater.

I saw quite a few celebrities.

The most impressive celebrity there was Lauren Bacall. She walked right past me, close enough that I could see the make of her hearing aid which must have been very good because she did not take a headset. She looked great for a woman that's over 80 years old. Very oddly, following right behind her was Cindy Adams who also looks great for a woman in her 80's. She's not a great look woman but she did look great. And even though she can't write in complete sentences, I'm sure she'll write something about tonight's opening in tomorrow's NY Post.

The second most impressive celebrity I saw this evening was Alec Baldwin. This must be the umpteenth time I've seen him in person. I think I've seen him once every few months or so for the last 3 years. Every time I see him, he's always in the middle of doing something. The very last time I saw him was this summer as he was crossing Broadway on 47th street. At the time, he had been doing something at The Roundabout and I'd seen him a few times in front of the Roundabout Theater speaking to other actors.

The other celebrities, while they were cool to see, just don't rank as high as the previously mentioned.

The list includes Dana Delaney, Constantine Maroulis, Bebe Neuwirth and Karen Ziemba.

Constantine Maroulis is very tall, much taller than you would think. He was with a very, very, very blond and skinny woman who didn't look too much older than a high schooler. Not saying that she was in high school but she was very young. The last time I saw him, I was going into the Al Hirshfeld theater through the stage door and he was sitting on the stairs near the entrance. I've seen him at least a dozen times and even made eye contact with him. Tonight, when he walked by me, there was a glint of recognition in his eyes but not knowing how he knows me, I guess I can't blame him for not saying hello.

Bebe Neuwirth always looks very tiny when you see her in person. She has a very small head and always looks like she needs to eat something. Unless you're a Broadway nut, you're most likely not familiar with Karen Ziemba. She's a Broadway phenom and I got to see her play Roxie Hart in Chicago when it was at the Shubert like 50 times. Actually, I saw Bebe Neuwirth in Chicago also and I've even seen her perform with Karen Ziemba. I was bummed that I couldn't work the 10th Anniversary show of Chicago.

Dana Delaney walked by so quickly, I only saw enough of her to know who it was. This may or may not come as a shock to you but she's very small and skinny.

Forbes 15 Richest Fictional Characters 2006

Forbes published its list of richest fictional characters for 2006.

Santa Claus was removed from the list and moving into first place is Daddy Warbucks.

Forbes claims that it still sites Santa's net worth as infinity but removed him from the list as a result of being bombarded by letters from outraged children insisting that Santa is real. For now, they thought it best to take him off the list until the matter of Santa's authenticity is verified.

Meanwhile, Daddy Warbucks has done well this year moving him ot the top of the list. Defense contracts in Iraq earned Warbucks a fortune for his depleted uranium artillery shells. His company's energy services group won a record $59.2 billion contract to provide oil well maintenance in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

There were some amusing additions to the list this year, including Prince Abakaliki of Nigeria. The first son of King Sani Abakaliki debuted on the Forbes List at #9 with a shocking net worth of $2.8 billion. That's a pretty good sum of money considering he still wants to get his hands on his father's estate - with your help of course.

Also new to the list is plumber Mario with an amassed fortune of $1 billion. According to his entry, he amassed his fortune slowly by overcoming obstacles in order to collect one gold coin at a time.

Confrontation - How I Met Your Mother

One recent blogging trend is to post clips from You Tube. I like this one because this is my favorite number from Les Miserables. It stars Neil Patrick Harris and some other dork from one of those new comedies on CBS.

Grey Gardens

What an absolute delight to be working at the Walter Kerr theater these last two days. Grey Gardens, starring Christine Ebersole is in full swing on Broadway after a successful run Off-Broadway. Grey Gardens is based on the unusual but true story of Edith and Edith Bouvier Beale - the aunt and first cousin of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy O'Nassis.

They were an odd pair and lived together as complete recluses for over 20 years. It's a sad story told in two acts.

Act I takes place in 1941 on the evening of little Edie's engagement party where she would have announced her engagement to Joseph Patrick Kennedy, Jr if it weren't for her mother's meddling. Not able to leave well enough alone, her mother sabotages her engagement by telling Joseph an absolutely scandalous story about little Edie swimming naked at the country club. The Act ends with little Edie running off to New York to pursue a life independent of her mother.

Act II takes place over 30 years later. It opens with little Edie reading an article that describes how Grey Gardens has fallen into disrepair and tells the audience how much she adores her mother. Clearly, she wasn't able to make it on her own in New York and tells the audience that her youthful fancies were cut short because she had to come home and take care of her of big Edie. The two women have developed an unhealthy and bizarre co-dependent relationship in their dire isolation. And their house has become a 28 room litterbox for 52 cats.

The musical is based on a documentary made about the two in the 70's. Shortly after it aired, Jackie O ended up cleaning up and restoring the house for them. Shortly after that, Edith Beale senior passed away, giving lost life back to little Edie. To raise money, little Edie sold the house and pursued a cabaret career. Ultimately she ended up in South Beach, Florida where she died of a heart attack about 3 years ago.

If you are a Kennedy-phile, you absolutely have to see this show.

If you want to offer your support to a good, original Broadway musical than book a ticket now.

Coffee Flavored Pancakes

As of two months ago, I don't remember ever having made pancakes for breakfast. I guess one day, when the weather started to hint at getting cold, the idea of making pancakes from scratch seized me. So, I pulled my Fanny Farmer Cookbook from the shelf, blew off the dust and found a basic pancake recipe. I followed it perfectly but they didn't taste very good. (Maybe it was the baking powder.)

A few days later, while doing my grocery shopping, I remembered that pancake batter comes premixed in either powder or liquid form. I searched the shelves for the cheapest box and bought an equally inexpensive bottle of maple syrup.

It probably took me a week before I opened the box to make a new batch for breakfast. All I had to do was mix it with water and voila - perfect pancake batter.

I was happy.

Shortly after that, I ran out of coffee. A vague memory caused me to mine the pantry until I found the instant coffee I'd bought during the years preceding my ownership of a coffee maker. It was still good. Not in the way that instant coffee is at all good, but at least it was still drinkable.

Lazy me, I left the instant coffee on the counter and there it sat until. . . the next time I went to make pancakes on that same counter, it occurred to me that if I added the instant coffee with water as the liquid to the instant pancake batter, the result would be coffee flavored pancakes. So I mixed 3/4 cup of hot water with instant coffee mix which I then added to my mix and in the time it takes to make 8 or 9 pancakes I had coffee pancakes.

This morning, I added the coffee directly to the batter without the bother of dissolving it first and you know what?

They were even better than that first batch I made.

Aren't pancakes great?

Spamalot

So.

This afternoon, I got to work at Spamalot - finally.

And you know what? It was eh.

They lifted so much out of the Holy Grail movie, I didn't realy feel like I was watching anything that original.